It's like the cell phone or cable companies are some weird date that's into S&M.. Someone you need to slap around a little before they give you what you want... Smack my ass.. SMACK IT!
Why do you have to debate with these people if you "deserve a deal or not"?.. and why do these people sometimes give it to you if you know how to complain enough?.. Or if you scream loud enough?.. or you get some random dude in Pakistan that thinks you're funny for asking how to say cock and balls in Pakistani.
I don't understand when all of this started.. Don't get me wrong. I love a good barter. I love convincing tiny Chinese ladies that they should give me the knock off sunglasses for five bucks rather than eight.. makes me happy in my heart.
but why is this the case with huge cable companies? I actually kinda hate (surprise face) the people that brag about the deals they get..
"I totally scored a bunch of free movie channels.. and got the golf channel free for six months... I just kept complaining until they made it happen, bro"..
I say.. Fuck you dude.. I'm sure some Jewish business man in New York got a WAY better deal than you...
I get mad at myself because I start to get jealous about this douche bags deal. "Why did he get the extra six months of HBO for five dollars less then I got it for? Why did they like him more?"
I start to feel neglected... I immediately feel the need to call the company and whine and scream until I get the same sweet sweet goodness that this idiot got... I'm better than him, aren't I?
I want something better.. something more... I need them to LOVE ME MORE... I know what they want to hear..
Alright.. listen.. I want HBO on demand FREE for six months.. FUCK YOU.. don't tell me you can't make that happen, I know you can.. Alright fine.. if your computer says you can't then put me on with someone who has a computer that says you can... Alright fuck you then.. I'm taking my business to another company.. I heard Bell Canada has cheaper internet.. OH.. what's that you say? You CAN give me something for free... That's what I thought.. SO DO IT.. and thank me for my business... do it bitch.. THANK ME.. that's right.. you like it rough.. DON'T YOU... take it... take it bitch.. that's right sweetheart.. say you like it... MOOHAHAHA I win.. I WIN.. I FUCKING WIN!!!!!
oh wait... I am the asshole who tells people about the great deal they got... fuck me.
ugh,
G.Y.M.
