DJ = DUMBASS-JOB

Alright.. I know a lot of you people are going to have a problem with this entry.. but it has to be said... and I'm a dick who doesn't really care what you think.

I'm so fucking sick of this obsession with DJs... What is it? Why is everyone in love with the latest douche bag DJ with a "kooky" DJ name? Like DJ-Pajamas, DJ-pickle-breath, DJ-SUCK MY WEEN!! ugh...

Ok.. DJs... I get why they exist... We need music.. They provide a bar/party with fun shit to dance to.. great... well done... BUT .. HOW HARD IS THAT!? I can push play on my ipod just like the next idiot... "Oh, what's that you say? You want the music to be mixed up?" well thank god my Ipod has a fucking SHUFFLE FUNCTION!!! I can spend my afternoon putting together a "kick ass" playlist too.. but maybe I shouldn't since.. I'm not a professional DJ... I might get in trouble.

YEAH YEAH.. there's more to it.. I've heard your bullshit argument before.. LAME!!! is my only response.

Right.. ok.. people remix songs.. I can see the talent needed for this.. I can see that this takes a certain "musicality".. or "ear" if you will... Also knowing how to run the programs to layer sounds.. Slowing a track down, adding some wicked-ass-beats.. or whatever the fuck.. but DJing does NOT take talent... This is why I don't understand the obsession...

"OH.. We NEED to go spend twenty bucks to get into some crap bar because DJ- skilttly-dick-weed is SPINNING!!!!"

FUCK YOU!!!! WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!

Again.. I'm not negating that this job should exist.. People want to listen to the latest dick head remix of some gay GaGa song... or hear some random old Pharcyde that they haven't heard for years...(I know I do) But why idolize these idiots?

I know, I know.. Some of you people reading this thing are "DJs"... but you're most likely also "musicians" or have other shit going on in your life... You DJ cause it's good money and fat old bar owners are willing to pay you WAY too much to do it.. Good on ya.. keep rollin' with it..

I'm strictly talking about the "professional" DJs of the world.. The ones that tour around the country playing crap bars with retardedly expensive covers..

The only reason they score these gigs is because they constantly badger everybody on facebook and twitter with "EVENTS" or "GROUPS"... Saying "DJ- dic-lic-dip-stic is playing the Bovine Bar.. Sick old skool Hip-Hop... Come dance your skinny jeans off.. featuring DJ titt-burger"

and then a bunch of 22 year old scenesters spread that shit .. "OH!? DJ-titt-burger is going to be there?" " Yeah.. I know, right? I'm TOTES wearing my deepest V!!!"

MORONS!!!!!!

Here's the lesson everyone.. Just because some dick head makes up an annoying DJ name.. plays some great old school hip-hop that everybody remembers from junior high and can generate interest from a bunch of 22 year old scenesters doesn't MEAN SHIT!!!!!

Stop idolizing these dick-heads... it's pathetic.. just start drinking too much and becoming overly cranky and critical... like me...

It's way more fun..

UGH

G.Y.M.