I'm sitting in a restaurant/cafe (or whatever) listening to the atypical morons of the world. Already ordered and I can't escape. There will come a time where your ipod dies, or whoever you're sitting with makes a trip to the bathroom. There you are stuck listening to a conversation about bicycles, poker, sushi or in my case, a theater group presenting a musical about less then common Shakespearean plays. WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Here's a little tidbit of what I'm being subjected to.
Dink-head#1 "It's going to be called " The book is dead. Long live the book". It'll be a musical"
Dink-head#2 " Oh, how interesting"
Dink-head#1 "Yeah. I mean not your typical Shakespeare stuff... you know? You won't be hearing any Hamlet.. (annoying laugh) or anything like that?"
Dink-head#2 "Wow, it sounds great."
Dink-head#1 "When we decided "no Hamlet " we all started doing the monologue. You know? The famous monologue To Be or Not to Be... All at the same time... It was really funny"..
Me "NO IT WASN'T, IDIOT!!! THERE WAS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THAT!!! NOTHING! NOTHING! FUCKING NOTHING!!!!!" then my head exploded. (that last part may or may not have happened)
Great. Ok fine. I know... like what you're going to like... don't be so judgmental.. Live and let live.. right... blah blah blah.. but it just confirms my suspicions.
Every once in a blue moon I'll start to feel like I'm being too harsh. I'm really not giving people the benefit of the doubt or I think everyone has something to offer... everyone is equal... then this kind of shit smacks me in the face and I wake up...
Take these two for instance. I would rather get hit square in the sac by a golf ball then have to talk to these two tards for more then 30 seconds.
Sitting there across from each other with there weird over grown mutton-chops and man-pony tails... I hate them. I don't know them but I know deep down... I hate them. This might seem wrong to a lot of you but it just feels so right to me.
95% of the population I can't deal with on a daily basis and 98% (as discussed by Jerry around season 5) are UN-DATABLE... It's a proven fact.. at least in my life it is.
I think this might have finally become a problem for me. It's a social disease. I have severe trouble carrying on any form of small talk without resorting to full sarcasm. It takes me about 20 to 30 seconds before I can't stand talking to you. From there it's all about enjoying my time so I start to mock you. It's subtle at first but spend too much time with me and I just become full out mean.
It's really nothing against you. It's just that I'm bored and you suck. I'm sure you're a very nice person. I'm sure you do really good things for needy people.. but here's the thing.. I don't care. Unless you start to make me laugh or throw the sarcasm right back at me... I'll eventually get bored and move on. If you do throw it back... I'm in heaven.
I'm pretty sure therapy would be a good start but who has the time or money? I know I'd hate my therapist and end up mocking him too.
The only solution for me now is to leave this restaurant and hope I never run into these two dink-heads ever again. If by some far off chance someone somehow figures out a way to get me and these two in a room together... where by I'm forced to have a conversation with either of them for more then 30 seconds... get your golf clubs ready cause I'm taking a Titleist to the gonads to get out of it... Try me.
UGH
G.Y.M.
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