Why do you sit so close to me at a movie theater?

I purposely go to the movies during the afternoon in the middle of the week so I don't have to deal with people.. I HATE people. Having to sit with a bunch of strangers in a dark room.. where they feel comfortable enough to laugh, cry or have any other annoying human reaction to something on the screen while sitting WAY to close to me.. is my HELL... But I love going to movies.. For this reason I never go to movies at night or on the weekends... If there's more then 5 people in the theater with me, I'm not happy...

Every once and a while I date a girl who does the "typical" weekend bullshit things... You HAVE to go to a movie theater with her on the weekend... Or shopping or something else annoying... KILL ME NOW is all I have to say. These relationships usually don't last very long...

So.. I go to the movies in the middle of the day where I'm guaranteed to miss the crowds.. However, there is a down side to this avoidance strategy.. Although there are fewer people.. The ones that show are FUCKING AWFUL.. Either lonely single middle aged woman desperate for something to do so they still feel like part of society... The "Grey Hairs".. Most likely two old bitches going for their weekly movie date.... (Gladice and Gurtrude are out to gab and do so through the ENTIRE MOVIE.) And then of course there's the fatties that hide in the dark while they eat their GIANT popcorn, massive diet coke, disgusting nachos, and some kind of cina-bon artery clogging sugar shit...

I don't mind it half the time because there are so few of us there... BUT.. these weirdos have a tendency to sit right behind or in front of me in an EMPTY theater.. WHAT THE FUCK.. Why would you want to sit that close to someone to begin with let alone in an empty theater?

Talking, eating, and just breathing too loud is enough to make me snap... I've taken to sitting at the back of the theater these days... Praying these assholes are too fat or old to climb the steps to get anywhere near me.. but still you'll get that one moron who doesn't recognize the fact that I want to put my fucking feet on the seat in front of me and they should NOT SIT THERE!!!

I've waited out the opening weekend of this movie... ignored the fact that tickets are WAY too expensive.. and I've wasted a perfectly beautiful sunny day outside to sit in a cold dark theater... ALONE... I've earned my 8 seat radius of NO FREAKS...

Don't sit so god damn close, dick head! Why are you ruining my life?

UGH,

G.Y.M.