Alright.. I know a lot of you people are going to have a problem with this entry.. but it has to be said... and I'm a dick who doesn't really care what you think.
I'm so fucking sick of this obsession with DJs... What is it? Why is everyone in love with the latest douche bag DJ with a "kooky" DJ name? Like DJ-Pajamas, DJ-pickle-breath, DJ-SUCK MY WEEN!! ugh...
Ok.. DJs... I get why they exist... We need music.. They provide a bar/party with fun shit to dance to.. great... well done... BUT .. HOW HARD IS THAT!? I can push play on my ipod just like the next idiot... "Oh, what's that you say? You want the music to be mixed up?" well thank god my Ipod has a fucking SHUFFLE FUNCTION!!! I can spend my afternoon putting together a "kick ass" playlist too.. but maybe I shouldn't since.. I'm not a professional DJ... I might get in trouble.
YEAH YEAH.. there's more to it.. I've heard your bullshit argument before.. LAME!!! is my only response.
Right.. ok.. people remix songs.. I can see the talent needed for this.. I can see that this takes a certain "musicality".. or "ear" if you will... Also knowing how to run the programs to layer sounds.. Slowing a track down, adding some wicked-ass-beats.. or whatever the fuck.. but DJing does NOT take talent... This is why I don't understand the obsession...
"OH.. We NEED to go spend twenty bucks to get into some crap bar because DJ- skilttly-dick-weed is SPINNING!!!!"
FUCK YOU!!!! WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!
Again.. I'm not negating that this job should exist.. People want to listen to the latest dick head remix of some gay GaGa song... or hear some random old Pharcyde that they haven't heard for years...(I know I do) But why idolize these idiots?
I know, I know.. Some of you people reading this thing are "DJs"... but you're most likely also "musicians" or have other shit going on in your life... You DJ cause it's good money and fat old bar owners are willing to pay you WAY too much to do it.. Good on ya.. keep rollin' with it..
I'm strictly talking about the "professional" DJs of the world.. The ones that tour around the country playing crap bars with retardedly expensive covers..
The only reason they score these gigs is because they constantly badger everybody on facebook and twitter with "EVENTS" or "GROUPS"... Saying "DJ- dic-lic-dip-stic is playing the Bovine Bar.. Sick old skool Hip-Hop... Come dance your skinny jeans off.. featuring DJ titt-burger"
and then a bunch of 22 year old scenesters spread that shit .. "OH!? DJ-titt-burger is going to be there?" " Yeah.. I know, right? I'm TOTES wearing my deepest V!!!"
MORONS!!!!!!
Here's the lesson everyone.. Just because some dick head makes up an annoying DJ name.. plays some great old school hip-hop that everybody remembers from junior high and can generate interest from a bunch of 22 year old scenesters doesn't MEAN SHIT!!!!!
Stop idolizing these dick-heads... it's pathetic.. just start drinking too much and becoming overly cranky and critical... like me...
It's way more fun..
UGH
G.Y.M.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
So your full sleeve tattoo isn't cool anymore? WHOOPS!
I'm really looking forward to this day... Over the past 5 or so years the douche bags of the world have been going a little over board when it comes to tattooing their bodies... Covering every inch like they're a side show freak from a 1930's carnival.. oh.. You better stretch your earlobes out too.. cause then.. and only then will you be "too cool for school".. are you really that starved for attention or were you actually asked to join some African tribe where giant disgusting earlobes is a rite of passage for a young man?
I'm all for some cool tatts.. I think their great.. but come on.. Every asshole on the street these days has a fucking full sleeve.. Why? Do you really think when you're 60 you're going to be into your weird japanese dragon eating a phrase from your favorite obscure book?... Some quote that you think no one else has read.. because you're sooooo fucking original... you're so original that you only dress the way everyone else is dressing... cause god forbid you don't fit in? Oh, wait.. that's the oposite of originality.. idiot.
These god damn morrons with the neck tattoos? You're 23 and have an internship at some graphic design company and you're sooo fucking street that you need a NECK TATT? what the fuck? Unless you've done a stint at Rikers or you've shot someone in Compton.. DON'T GET A NECK TATTOO!!!!!
Alright I'm not here to tell people what to do... but really.. come on.. Full sleeves, neck tatts, huge earlobes.... ugh... I'm really not sayin' "Hey hippy, cut that hair".. but it's not even the minority anymore.. It's every asshole with an arts degree.. It's every dick head who's ever been to CBGB's... It's every douche bag who move's to a "big city" and immediatly believes " OH.. I BELONG HERE"... well let me be the first to say... no you don't.... HA...
My goal for the day.. walk up to the first dick head wearing a fedora, tight black jeans, who has a neck tatt and huge earlobes.. punch them square in the throat and scream.. YOU'RE FATHER NEVER LOVED YOU!!!" I guess then we'll see who's "street".. asshole
ugh,
G.Y.M.
I'm all for some cool tatts.. I think their great.. but come on.. Every asshole on the street these days has a fucking full sleeve.. Why? Do you really think when you're 60 you're going to be into your weird japanese dragon eating a phrase from your favorite obscure book?... Some quote that you think no one else has read.. because you're sooooo fucking original... you're so original that you only dress the way everyone else is dressing... cause god forbid you don't fit in? Oh, wait.. that's the oposite of originality.. idiot.
These god damn morrons with the neck tattoos? You're 23 and have an internship at some graphic design company and you're sooo fucking street that you need a NECK TATT? what the fuck? Unless you've done a stint at Rikers or you've shot someone in Compton.. DON'T GET A NECK TATTOO!!!!!
Alright I'm not here to tell people what to do... but really.. come on.. Full sleeves, neck tatts, huge earlobes.... ugh... I'm really not sayin' "Hey hippy, cut that hair".. but it's not even the minority anymore.. It's every asshole with an arts degree.. It's every dick head who's ever been to CBGB's... It's every douche bag who move's to a "big city" and immediatly believes " OH.. I BELONG HERE"... well let me be the first to say... no you don't.... HA...
My goal for the day.. walk up to the first dick head wearing a fedora, tight black jeans, who has a neck tatt and huge earlobes.. punch them square in the throat and scream.. YOU'RE FATHER NEVER LOVED YOU!!!" I guess then we'll see who's "street".. asshole
ugh,
G.Y.M.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Ways my life would be easier if I didn't like vaginas...
SO.
I'm convinced my mom wanted a gay son.. There are three of us.. and I'm the youngest (slash best looking.. HOLA).. So.. she pops out three boys... OF COURSE she wants the last one to be gay.. who else is she going to shop with, cook with and talk about The View with.? While all my buddies played hockey, mom dropped me into dance classes.. unbeknownst to her I was more interested in the fact that I was surrounded by girls in tights then freezing my ass of with my buddies on the hockey field.. (they play it on a field, right?) Anyway... Being gay as a male dancer seems like it would have just been the easier route... All the teasing and taunting would have made sense if I actually was gay.. but unfortunately for my mom, it didn't take.
Gays 1 - Vaginas 0
Relationships... I'm pretty well versed in the world of gay monogamy.. A lot of my closest friend's love the cock.. I would never negate the fact that romantic relationships; gay, straight or other wise are difficult... But.. for me.. (just me) having to deal with the oposite sex seems to be a little more confusing... I think the gays have it a little easier in this case... Granted they get the short stick on plenty of other things.. but that's not what we're talking about here.. so fuck off..
Things they have going for them in a relationship: They double the wardrobe, they're very familiar with the "equipment" down below (you're never going to get a bad blowjob) and most importantly they don't have to deal with WOMEN! the crazy shit when it's comes to women.. the pasive-aggresive-fuck-with-you-even-though-we're-broken-up-shit.. that drives every straight man crazy at some point in their life. The only women the gays have to deal with are their fat fag hags that don't shut up about why they "can't find a man".. but then spend all their time fawning over their gay counterparts rather then hitting the gym and putting down the cookie dough. The gays can just ignore or ditch these women cause they aren't trying to sleep with them...
Gays 2 - Vaginas 0
I've witnessed first hand the "hook up"... A gay guy can literally smile at another guy.. This guy will cross a crowded bar to see "what's up?".. One guy will go.. "Hey.. you wanna go do it?" The other guy will say "yeah"... and then they go and DO IT.. this does NOT happen in the straight world... it takes FAR more work.. and usually it's not worth the money, time, and effort you put into it. Lucky gays...
Gays 3 - Vaginas 0
Now I know a lot of you are thinking.. wow. .this guy is a closet case and should just get out there and start chuggin' ween.. but it's not something I'm interested in.. I've been given every opportunity in my life to switch teams but like it says at the beggining of this blog. I like vaginas.. I suppose liking vaginas is the cross I'll have to bear.. (too religious? ) So.. even though the Gays have it 3 to 0 over vaginas.. Vaginas still win.. you know why? cause they're wonderful...
It's just too bad they're somtimes wrapped in boring and sprinkled with crazy...
ugh,
G.Y.M.
I'm convinced my mom wanted a gay son.. There are three of us.. and I'm the youngest (slash best looking.. HOLA).. So.. she pops out three boys... OF COURSE she wants the last one to be gay.. who else is she going to shop with, cook with and talk about The View with.? While all my buddies played hockey, mom dropped me into dance classes.. unbeknownst to her I was more interested in the fact that I was surrounded by girls in tights then freezing my ass of with my buddies on the hockey field.. (they play it on a field, right?) Anyway... Being gay as a male dancer seems like it would have just been the easier route... All the teasing and taunting would have made sense if I actually was gay.. but unfortunately for my mom, it didn't take.
Gays 1 - Vaginas 0
Relationships... I'm pretty well versed in the world of gay monogamy.. A lot of my closest friend's love the cock.. I would never negate the fact that romantic relationships; gay, straight or other wise are difficult... But.. for me.. (just me) having to deal with the oposite sex seems to be a little more confusing... I think the gays have it a little easier in this case... Granted they get the short stick on plenty of other things.. but that's not what we're talking about here.. so fuck off..
Things they have going for them in a relationship: They double the wardrobe, they're very familiar with the "equipment" down below (you're never going to get a bad blowjob) and most importantly they don't have to deal with WOMEN! the crazy shit when it's comes to women.. the pasive-aggresive-fuck-with-you-even-though-we're-broken-up-shit.. that drives every straight man crazy at some point in their life. The only women the gays have to deal with are their fat fag hags that don't shut up about why they "can't find a man".. but then spend all their time fawning over their gay counterparts rather then hitting the gym and putting down the cookie dough. The gays can just ignore or ditch these women cause they aren't trying to sleep with them...
Gays 2 - Vaginas 0
I've witnessed first hand the "hook up"... A gay guy can literally smile at another guy.. This guy will cross a crowded bar to see "what's up?".. One guy will go.. "Hey.. you wanna go do it?" The other guy will say "yeah"... and then they go and DO IT.. this does NOT happen in the straight world... it takes FAR more work.. and usually it's not worth the money, time, and effort you put into it. Lucky gays...
Gays 3 - Vaginas 0
Now I know a lot of you are thinking.. wow. .this guy is a closet case and should just get out there and start chuggin' ween.. but it's not something I'm interested in.. I've been given every opportunity in my life to switch teams but like it says at the beggining of this blog. I like vaginas.. I suppose liking vaginas is the cross I'll have to bear.. (too religious? ) So.. even though the Gays have it 3 to 0 over vaginas.. Vaginas still win.. you know why? cause they're wonderful...
It's just too bad they're somtimes wrapped in boring and sprinkled with crazy...
ugh,
G.Y.M.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Sex-Ed from a Douche
Is it just me? When did guys figure out how to talk to women? Girls? Broads? Sluts? ... ladies?
Did I miss that day in junior high? The day the Sex Ed teacher takes the girls into the other room and some douche bag comes in from off the street. He smells of Drakkar Noir and Jager bombs. Struts in with his tight fitted dress shirt and over priced jeans, ready to tell us what's what.
I assume this Douche proceeded to teach the class room how to "pick women up". Teaching them how to say the most ridiculous things to get the attention from a pretty girl. He instilled the retarded-confidence that allowed these young men to NEVER feel uncomfortable, anxious, or awkward when asking women if they're into "working out" or "good music".
For me it seems like every other idiot in the world was there for that class. I go through life with an overwhelming social anxiety that can only be cured with substance abuse. I know I should try yoga, or pilates but... fuck you. I don't want to. I'd rather continue to make sarcastic remarks, or inapropriate jokes and drink. That being said.. I don't know how these other dudes do it.
All I ever hear from girls is how they get hit on constantly. Out on the street, on the subway, at the grocery store. Who are these guys and how are they doing this? I'm not saying I want to be like them.. or want to "do what the do".. but I'd just like to know how they learnt this skill. How they figured out that whistling or sucking air through their teeth could get the attention of a pretty young thing. I'm assuming from that point they strike up a conversation, head out for an afternoon coffee and make plans for the up coming weekend. I don't really know.
This time honored tradition of douche-baggery will never end.. and I'm fine with that. It's just something I'd like to understand a little better. Why didn't I learn this skill? Where was I that day in Junior high? Do I have the ability but just don't know access it? Could I strike up a conversation with some moronic girl at the bar? Pretend to care about ANYTHING they have to say... Actually keep this terrible conversation going long enough without wanting to kill myself from boredom in the hopes of "gettin' some"? Or will I never learn?
I am a slow learner.
UGH,
G.Y.M.
Did I miss that day in junior high? The day the Sex Ed teacher takes the girls into the other room and some douche bag comes in from off the street. He smells of Drakkar Noir and Jager bombs. Struts in with his tight fitted dress shirt and over priced jeans, ready to tell us what's what.
I assume this Douche proceeded to teach the class room how to "pick women up". Teaching them how to say the most ridiculous things to get the attention from a pretty girl. He instilled the retarded-confidence that allowed these young men to NEVER feel uncomfortable, anxious, or awkward when asking women if they're into "working out" or "good music".
For me it seems like every other idiot in the world was there for that class. I go through life with an overwhelming social anxiety that can only be cured with substance abuse. I know I should try yoga, or pilates but... fuck you. I don't want to. I'd rather continue to make sarcastic remarks, or inapropriate jokes and drink. That being said.. I don't know how these other dudes do it.
All I ever hear from girls is how they get hit on constantly. Out on the street, on the subway, at the grocery store. Who are these guys and how are they doing this? I'm not saying I want to be like them.. or want to "do what the do".. but I'd just like to know how they learnt this skill. How they figured out that whistling or sucking air through their teeth could get the attention of a pretty young thing. I'm assuming from that point they strike up a conversation, head out for an afternoon coffee and make plans for the up coming weekend. I don't really know.
This time honored tradition of douche-baggery will never end.. and I'm fine with that. It's just something I'd like to understand a little better. Why didn't I learn this skill? Where was I that day in Junior high? Do I have the ability but just don't know access it? Could I strike up a conversation with some moronic girl at the bar? Pretend to care about ANYTHING they have to say... Actually keep this terrible conversation going long enough without wanting to kill myself from boredom in the hopes of "gettin' some"? Or will I never learn?
I am a slow learner.
UGH,
G.Y.M.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Hate Love Hate - relationship
I have some issues with my neighborhood.. There's plenty of crap I love about it.. TONS I HATE.. but why not spread some love today for a change?
I love that while walking to grab my morning coffee.. I'll most likely run into a crazy person from the local metal health rehab center around the corner... I'm thankful that there are places like this that can care for people with mental health problems... I'm thankful that the stigma surrounding mental health issues has substantially been reduced in our society.. BUT I'm even more thankful that every once and a while I'll see a man wearing a tankini, moon boots, and false eyelashes singing Owner of a Lonely Heart to a brick wall... It always makes for an interesting morning.
I love that the playground directly across the street from my house is constantly full of the most annoying Portuguese kids on the face of this planet.. I love that I get to hear "Fuck you, Guy" "kiss my ass, Chief" and "What are you, some kind of Fagot?" from nine year old's all day long.. It's never a dull moment on my deck.
and finally.. i love that every weekend I get to watch the annoying 905ers (that's suberb bitches for those of you who don't know) pile into the over-priced-douche-bag-bars that surround my house. Scream at each other in their weird guido-esk accents and pile right back into their cars for a "safe" drive home.. I enjoy fucking with drunk people and I always have the pick of the litter just steps from my front door.
I love this place.. kinda
ugh,
G.Y.M.
I love that while walking to grab my morning coffee.. I'll most likely run into a crazy person from the local metal health rehab center around the corner... I'm thankful that there are places like this that can care for people with mental health problems... I'm thankful that the stigma surrounding mental health issues has substantially been reduced in our society.. BUT I'm even more thankful that every once and a while I'll see a man wearing a tankini, moon boots, and false eyelashes singing Owner of a Lonely Heart to a brick wall... It always makes for an interesting morning.
I love that the playground directly across the street from my house is constantly full of the most annoying Portuguese kids on the face of this planet.. I love that I get to hear "Fuck you, Guy" "kiss my ass, Chief" and "What are you, some kind of Fagot?" from nine year old's all day long.. It's never a dull moment on my deck.
and finally.. i love that every weekend I get to watch the annoying 905ers (that's suberb bitches for those of you who don't know) pile into the over-priced-douche-bag-bars that surround my house. Scream at each other in their weird guido-esk accents and pile right back into their cars for a "safe" drive home.. I enjoy fucking with drunk people and I always have the pick of the litter just steps from my front door.
I love this place.. kinda
ugh,
G.Y.M.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Just Say THANK YOU.. FUCK
I've admitted that I'm an asshole. It's true. I'm a jackass that enjoys a good laugh... A lot of the time at expense of someone else... but this doesn't mean I'm not a nice guy.
I think it's important for people to laugh at others and roll with it when people laugh at them. It's a good way to go through life. Everything becomes a joke and people take the piss out of each other.. This is the world I want to live in at least. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If people were more like Larry David this place would be a lot more fun.
BUT here's the thing.
As much as I'm an asshole, I enjoy common courtesies. I like being polite when people are serving me my food or I like allowing a woman to go a head of me in line... Helping with a stroller down a flight of stairs.. these are things I like to do.. not patting myself on the back here.. it's just how I was raised... It makes me feel like a human being.
SO.. When someone opens a door for you, you say "Thank you" or "Thanks".. you don't do what so many old bitchy Portuguese women do in my area... which is grunt and waddle past you... making sure not to look you in the eye. What the fuck is that? How hard is it to say "Thank you, young man." ? Stupid cunts... I mean I've lived in some big cities and I know people can get in their own worlds.. but come on.. fuck
It's like people are scared to interact with each other. They don't strike up conversations with their grocery store check out lady anymore.. I have a GREAT one.. I talk with her every time I hit the Dominion on College street. Her name's Sharon and she's a GEM!.. She always has something funny to say and I like to throw it right back... She'll tell me about her recent trip to Mexico and I'll ask her how many tequila shots it took her to get topless and dance on a bar. She LOVES it and laughs her ass off. She's always telling me about her kids... asking what's new in my world.. We have 53 seconds together.. enjoy each others company and we move on.. I LOVE IT.. but.. Sharon is a rare being.. usually when you try and strike up a conversation with a teller or the guy at the gas station they look at you like you farted in their mouth...
listen. I get working a bullshit job is a pain in the ass.. You don't want some punk giving you a hard time.. but fucking lighten up people.. Say thank you next time someone holds the door. Ask your coffee barista how their weekend was.. fucking talk to people and make some jokes..
And the next time some old Japanese lady pushes her way on the subway and nails you with her plastic bags without saying "excuse me" or "sorry". I give you full permission to punch that bitch in the face.
UGH
G.Y.M.
I think it's important for people to laugh at others and roll with it when people laugh at them. It's a good way to go through life. Everything becomes a joke and people take the piss out of each other.. This is the world I want to live in at least. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If people were more like Larry David this place would be a lot more fun.
BUT here's the thing.
As much as I'm an asshole, I enjoy common courtesies. I like being polite when people are serving me my food or I like allowing a woman to go a head of me in line... Helping with a stroller down a flight of stairs.. these are things I like to do.. not patting myself on the back here.. it's just how I was raised... It makes me feel like a human being.
SO.. When someone opens a door for you, you say "Thank you" or "Thanks".. you don't do what so many old bitchy Portuguese women do in my area... which is grunt and waddle past you... making sure not to look you in the eye. What the fuck is that? How hard is it to say "Thank you, young man." ? Stupid cunts... I mean I've lived in some big cities and I know people can get in their own worlds.. but come on.. fuck
It's like people are scared to interact with each other. They don't strike up conversations with their grocery store check out lady anymore.. I have a GREAT one.. I talk with her every time I hit the Dominion on College street. Her name's Sharon and she's a GEM!.. She always has something funny to say and I like to throw it right back... She'll tell me about her recent trip to Mexico and I'll ask her how many tequila shots it took her to get topless and dance on a bar. She LOVES it and laughs her ass off. She's always telling me about her kids... asking what's new in my world.. We have 53 seconds together.. enjoy each others company and we move on.. I LOVE IT.. but.. Sharon is a rare being.. usually when you try and strike up a conversation with a teller or the guy at the gas station they look at you like you farted in their mouth...
listen. I get working a bullshit job is a pain in the ass.. You don't want some punk giving you a hard time.. but fucking lighten up people.. Say thank you next time someone holds the door. Ask your coffee barista how their weekend was.. fucking talk to people and make some jokes..
And the next time some old Japanese lady pushes her way on the subway and nails you with her plastic bags without saying "excuse me" or "sorry". I give you full permission to punch that bitch in the face.
UGH
G.Y.M.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Talking at a party...
"Do you prefer the over or under when it comes to your toilet paper roll hanging method?" "What's you're favorite type of chip... brand and flavor?" "Can you poop in a public bathroom?"...
You see.. to me these are completely appropriate conversation starters at a party or bar or whatever... I'd much rather hear your reasoning to why you think the "over the top" toilet paper hang is preferable to the underneath method... But when I try and start these conversations while I'm "out" it's usually returned with a lack luster response...
Either people give the one word answer, or just ignore the question all together... Desperately looking for someone more "interesting" to talk to than me... What is that? These are the things I wanna talk about... If you can find the 2% of people that will respond to one of these questions enthusiastically or even throw back with an even more retarded topic of conversation.. then in my opinion you've found someone you wanna talk to at a party...
Now granted I admittedly do not like most people... maybe it's because I have severe social anxiety or maybe it's because people are just fucking boring... I'm sure it's my own fault.. this is why I self medicate with brown liquids... but maybe it's not my fault.
Maybe I'm just an asshole (well I am an asshole) but at least I know I'm an asshole... but fuck! why are people so stuck up.. why can't people roll with it? Just take the piss out of each other and laugh about it? I'll mock people to their face in the hopes that they'll throw it right back at me.. Why is that wrong?
I dunno.. I suppose I have a problem with insecurity and this is the reason I choose to make fun of others... I sincerely don't wanna make someone feel bad... but I do wanna make myself laugh (Oh the dichotomy) ... I guess I do it 'cause it helps keep me sane.. (or whatever)
PLEASE! If someone comes up to you at a party and asks "If you could punch one person in the face right now and get away with it... who would it be?".. JUST ENTERTAIN THE FUCKING QUESTION... because whoever asked you... is really fun and you're going to wanna continue talking to them at this party.. and if you don't.. then you're the rest of 98% of douche bags out there and you should just give up... so.. don't be a douche.. be an ass!
ugh
G.Y.M.
You see.. to me these are completely appropriate conversation starters at a party or bar or whatever... I'd much rather hear your reasoning to why you think the "over the top" toilet paper hang is preferable to the underneath method... But when I try and start these conversations while I'm "out" it's usually returned with a lack luster response...
Either people give the one word answer, or just ignore the question all together... Desperately looking for someone more "interesting" to talk to than me... What is that? These are the things I wanna talk about... If you can find the 2% of people that will respond to one of these questions enthusiastically or even throw back with an even more retarded topic of conversation.. then in my opinion you've found someone you wanna talk to at a party...
Now granted I admittedly do not like most people... maybe it's because I have severe social anxiety or maybe it's because people are just fucking boring... I'm sure it's my own fault.. this is why I self medicate with brown liquids... but maybe it's not my fault.
Maybe I'm just an asshole (well I am an asshole) but at least I know I'm an asshole... but fuck! why are people so stuck up.. why can't people roll with it? Just take the piss out of each other and laugh about it? I'll mock people to their face in the hopes that they'll throw it right back at me.. Why is that wrong?
I dunno.. I suppose I have a problem with insecurity and this is the reason I choose to make fun of others... I sincerely don't wanna make someone feel bad... but I do wanna make myself laugh (Oh the dichotomy) ... I guess I do it 'cause it helps keep me sane.. (or whatever)
PLEASE! If someone comes up to you at a party and asks "If you could punch one person in the face right now and get away with it... who would it be?".. JUST ENTERTAIN THE FUCKING QUESTION... because whoever asked you... is really fun and you're going to wanna continue talking to them at this party.. and if you don't.. then you're the rest of 98% of douche bags out there and you should just give up... so.. don't be a douche.. be an ass!
ugh
G.Y.M.
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